All you know is that you are fucked and that you can’t feel anymore. You can’t feel for yourself and you can’t feel for others. You are totally numb. The world and others cannot reach you. Feeling nothing becomes comfortable and familiar. You find yourself enjoying the numbness, the unfeeling. You come to depend upon the numbness, it becomes your crutch to lean on and make you steady. There is no connection with another living soul on this earth.